Yoga Truths Ipsum

Lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm yoga is for people that want to have sex patagonia made my mantra wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys $80 seaweed pants soft music i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is gay. self-righteous spiritual types yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..

I bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. the color of yoga is plum. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. are yoga pants really pants? come on..

I do yoga so i am better than you. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio..