Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class lotus tattoos dreadlocks wooden earrings in my stretched ears got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i''m pretending to be a tree if you don''t stretch you will die soft music i only drink organic tea this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy wooden earrings in my stretched ears patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil fuck yoga soft music i only drink organic tea i am reconnecting with my inner self i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga is fake exercise. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner $80 seaweed pants i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week my dream is to open my own yoga studio. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. i do yoga so i am better than you. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.