Yoga Truths Ipsum

Lotus tattoos my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little got my hood pierced yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i am reconnecting with my inner self i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. fuck yoga mantra schmantra hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super hippies yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. the color of yoga is plum. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. fake guru what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

The color of yoga is plum. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice..

See you at yoga yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners patagonia yoga is gay. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..