Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy wooden earrings in my stretched ears i smell like patouli oil patagonia this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. super hippies if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Taking my yoga instructor class my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little i smell like patouli oil if you don''t stretch you will die this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. super hippies yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

My lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little see you at yoga i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia mantra schmantra self-righteous spiritual types i do yoga so i am better than you. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! are yoga pants really pants? come on. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..