Yoga Truths Ipsum

Going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys see you at yoga i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i am reconnecting with my inner self i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch mantra schmantra i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. self-righteous spiritual types super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. fake guru i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob are yoga pants really pants? come on. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

I''m pretending to be a tree yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners soft music yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. are yoga pants really pants? come on. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

. . Going to be a yoga practitioner dreadlocks see you at yoga i am reconnecting with my inner self yoga is gay. super hippies super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..