Yoga Truths Ipsum

Patagonia spirit i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. self-righteous spiritual types patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. fake guru what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i am a yoga goddess. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Fuck yoga yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant..

Going to be a yoga practitioner patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit i only drink organic tea fuck yoga hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. self-righteous spiritual types after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..