Yoga Truths Ipsum

My lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little got my hood pierced $80 seaweed pants i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm see you at yoga yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners super hippies guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. i am a yoga goddess. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..

My lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little patagonia spirit i smell like patouli oil i''m pretending to be a tree yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants i only drink organic tea my dream is to open my own yoga studio. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..