Yoga Truths Ipsum

My lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little if you don''t stretch you will die mantra schmantra super hippies if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm got my hood pierced if you don''t stretch you will die yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. yoga snob.

If you don''t stretch you will die patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. i am a yoga goddess..