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Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. happiness is a byproduct of function, purpose, and conflict; those who seek happiness for itself seek victory without war. admittedly, a homosexual can be conditioned to react sexually to a woman, or to an old boot for that matter. in fact, both homo - and heterosexual experimental subjects have been conditioned to react sexually to an old boot, and you can save a lot of money that way. how i hate those who are dedicated to producing conformity. i am getting so far out one day i won't come back at all. the aim of education is the knowledge, not of facts, but of values. which came first the intestine or the tapeworm? i don't care if people hate my guts; i assume most of them do. the important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction. love is a haunting melody that i have never mastered, and i fear i never will. never do business with a religious son-of-a-bitch. his word ain't worth a shit -- not with the good lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal. there couldn't be a society of people who didn't dream. they'd be dead in two weeks. every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage. panic is the sudden realization that everything around you is alive. that old feeling is still in my leaking heart. little raspy incurving hooks he thought this was cute at first shouting out it wanted equal rights. after that, he began waking up all over his mouth. and grow there. and the whole head... it needed the eyes. and there was no more feeling in them.

Man is an artifact designed for space travel. he is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole. nothing is true, everything is permitted. there couldn't be a society of people who didn't dream. they'd be dead in two weeks. in deep sadness there is no place for sentimentality. black magic operates most effectively in preconscious, marginal areas. casual curses are the most effective. a paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. a psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on. desperation is the raw material of drastic change. only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape. whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction. the first and most important thing an individual can do is to become an individual again, decontrol himself, train himself as to what is going on and win back as much independent ground for himself as possible you were not there for the beginning. you will not be there for the end. your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative in the u.s. you have to be a deviant or die of boredom. after one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say i want to see the manager. artists to my mind are the real architects of change, and not the political legislators who implement change after the fact. writers, like elephants, have long, vicious memories. there are things i wish i could forget. i miss you so much your absence causes me, at times, accute pain. i don't mean sexually. i mean in connection with my writing. there couldn't be a society of people who didn't dream. they'd be dead in two weeks. it's the little touches that make a future solid enough to destroy. the dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set-up by the non-dreamers in homosexual sex you know exactly what the other person is feeling, so you are identifying with the other person completely. in heterosexual sex you have no idea what the other person is feeling. whether you like it or not, you are committed to the human endeavor. i cannot ally myself with such a purely negative goal as avoidance of suffering. suffering is a chance you take by the fact of being alive. we are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of true romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. i do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. this is what makes your self-respect so important, and i don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness and started eating. it would get drunk, too, and have crying jags. same as any other mouth. and the asshole said to him... that the asshole couldn't do was see. nerve connections were blocked... it was trapped inside the skull... than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk. what a horrible loutish planet this is. the dominant species consists of sadistic morons, faces bearing the hideous lineaments of spiritual famine swollen with stupid hate. hopeless rubbish..

. After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it. i sure as hell wouldn't want to live in a society where the only people allowed guns are the police and the military. after one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'i want to see the manager.' black magic operates most effectively in preconscious, marginal areas. casual curses are the most effective. the cat does not offer services. the cat offers itself. of course he wants care and shelter. you don't buy love for nothing. the face of evil is always the face of total need. your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative. i don't care if people hate my guts; i assume most of them do. the important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. the question is frequently asked: why does a man become a drug addict? the answer is that he usually does not intend to become an addict. you don't wake up one morning and decide to be a drug addict. it takes at least three months' shooting twice a day to get any habit at all. and you don't really know what junk sickness is until you have had several habits. it took me almost six months to get my first habit, and then the withdrawal symptoms were mild. i think it no exaggeration to say it takes about a year and several hundred injections to make an addict. the questions, of course, could be asked: why did you ever try narcotics? why did you continue using it long enough to become an addict? you become a narcotics addict because you do not have strong motivations in the other direction. junk wins by default. i tried it as a matter of curiosity. i drifted along taking shots when i could score. i ended up hooked. most addicts i have talked to report a similar experience. they did not start using drugs for any reason they can remember. they just drifted along until they got hooked. if you have never been addicted, you can have no clear idea what it means to need junk with the addict's special need. you don't decide to be an addict. one morning you wake up sick and you're an addict. (junky, prologue, p. xxxviii) writers, like elephants, have long, vicious memories. there are things i wish i could forget. i bear my burden proudly for all to see, to conquer prejudice and ignorance and hate with knowledge and sincerity and love. whenever you are threatened by a hostile presence, you emit a thick cloud of love like an octopus squirts out ink... the dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set-up by the non-dreamers and built an act around it... his pants and start talking on the street... around here anymore. sealed off..