Yoga Truths Ipsum

Going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys soft music i only drink organic tea i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. fake guru close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else..

Tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little i only drink organic tea this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos patagonia made my mantra wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i''m pretending to be a tree $80 seaweed pants i only drink organic tea i am reconnecting with my inner self yoga is gay. fuck yoga my dream is to open my own yoga studio. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..