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Going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil see you at yoga yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i only drink organic tea i am reconnecting with my inner self i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is gay. mantra schmantra super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Taking my yoga instructor class i only started yoga because it is trendy $80 seaweed pants i only drink organic tea i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. super hippies if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on..

Tattoo on the back of my neck soft music mantra schmantra this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yoga is fake exercise. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. are yoga pants really pants? come on..