Yoga Truths Ipsum

. Going to be a yoga practitioner dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy wooden earrings in my stretched ears patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys see you at yoga i''m pretending to be a tree soft music i am reconnecting with my inner self i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch my dream is to open my own yoga studio. hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. the color of yoga is plum. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else..

I only started yoga because it is trendy yoga is for people that want to have sex patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil i''m pretending to be a tree fuck yoga $80 seaweed pants soft music i only drink organic tea i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy patagonia made my mantra yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants soft music yoga is gay. i do yoga so i am better than you. the color of yoga is plum. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga snob this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.