Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia spirit i smell like patouli oil see you at yoga i only drink organic tea i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is gay. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. self-righteous spiritual types yoga is fake exercise. the color of yoga is plum. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Lotus tattoos my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit i''m pretending to be a tree yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants my dream is to open my own yoga studio. hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga is fake exercise. i do yoga so i am better than you. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little i only started yoga because it is trendy i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys if you don''t stretch you will die fuck yoga $80 seaweed pants i am reconnecting with my inner self i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga mantra schmantra super hippies yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. i am a yoga goddess. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..