Yoga Truths Ipsum

Going to be a yoga practitioner being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week yoga is gay. mantra schmantra my dream is to open my own yoga studio. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga is fake exercise. i do yoga so i am better than you. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm wooden earrings in my stretched ears patagonia spirit got my hood pierced wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys see you at yoga i''m pretending to be a tree soft music i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. mantra schmantra this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Soft music i only drink organic tea super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. fake guru close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..