Yoga Truths Ipsum

$80 seaweed pants fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yoga snob believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Taking my yoga instructor class dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. self-righteous spiritual types yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. fake guru after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil yoga is gay. fuck yoga super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men.. Tattoo on the back of my neck patagonia spirit i only drink organic tea i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? my dream is to open my own yoga studio. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. fake guru most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.