Yoga Truths Ipsum

I''m pretending to be a tree fuck yoga i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else..

Going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i only drink organic tea mantra schmantra this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..

Yoga is for people that want to have sex patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners fuck yoga i am reconnecting with my inner self i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? mantra schmantra hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. self-righteous spiritual types i do yoga so i am better than you. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga snob my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..