Yoga Truths Ipsum

I smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners soft music this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i am a yoga goddess. my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core..

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy if you don''t stretch you will die $80 seaweed pants soft music i only drink organic tea i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. fake guru i am a yoga goddess. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. are yoga pants really pants? come on. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm yoga is for people that want to have sex i smell like patouli oil i''m pretending to be a tree i am reconnecting with my inner self i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..