Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy yoga is for people that want to have sex patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit see you at yoga if you don''t stretch you will die yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners fuck yoga soft music yoga is gay. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. super hippies omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i''m pretending to be a tree yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants patagonia i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch fuck yoga mantra schmantra yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. i do yoga so i am better than you. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. i am a yoga goddess. yoga snob my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm wooden earrings in my stretched ears patagonia made my mantra got my hood pierced see you at yoga i''m pretending to be a tree i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga self-righteous spiritual types yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yoga is fake exercise. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. fake guru after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..