Yoga Truths Ipsum

My lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks got my hood pierced i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super hippies i do yoga so i am better than you. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Tattoo on the back of my neck yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i do yoga so i am better than you. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years..

Lotus tattoos dreadlocks got my hood pierced if you don''t stretch you will die yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yoga is fake exercise. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat are you going to the yoga retreat next month? this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..