Yoga Truths Ipsum

Going to be a yoga practitioner my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little wooden earrings in my stretched ears if you don''t stretch you will die patagonia i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch fuck yoga hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Taking my yoga instructor class dreadlocks patagonia i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. fake guru what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. are yoga pants really pants? come on. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

I only started yoga because it is trendy yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..