Yoga Truths Ipsum

Lotus tattoos dreadlocks wooden earrings in my stretched ears i smell like patouli oil yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners soft music i only drink organic tea i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? mantra schmantra this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. i do yoga so i am better than you. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. the color of yoga is plum. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. fake guru you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! yoga snob i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Going to be a yoga practitioner dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm wooden earrings in my stretched ears got my hood pierced yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners fuck yoga $80 seaweed pants i am reconnecting with my inner self hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga is fake exercise. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. i am a yoga goddess. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics..