Yoga Truths Ipsum

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy yoga is for people that want to have sex fuck yoga yoga is gay. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Tattoo on the back of my neck i only started yoga because it is trendy patagonia made my mantra fuck yoga fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. self-righteous spiritual types if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Taking my yoga instructor class got my hood pierced i''m pretending to be a tree if you don''t stretch you will die yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i am reconnecting with my inner self i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch self-righteous spiritual types yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.