Yoga Truths Ipsum

Being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy yoga is for people that want to have sex i smell like patouli oil yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is fake exercise. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. fake guru i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..

I only started yoga because it is trendy i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week mantra schmantra self-righteous spiritual types yoga is fake exercise. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..

Taking my yoga instructor class lotus tattoos my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit see you at yoga i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. fake guru after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! yoga snob i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.