Yoga Truths Ipsum

Tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia made my mantra patagonia spirit got my hood pierced i''m pretending to be a tree i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i am reconnecting with my inner self patagonia fuck yoga my dream is to open my own yoga studio. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. the color of yoga is plum. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. fake guru after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! yoga snob my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i only started yoga because it is trendy got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys soft music i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? yoga is gay. mantra schmantra self-righteous spiritual types yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i am a yoga goddess. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on..

Lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i''m pretending to be a tree i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia yoga is gay. this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. i do yoga so i am better than you. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? are yoga pants really pants? come on. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.