Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class soft music mantra schmantra hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. i am a yoga goddess. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..

Dreadlocks wooden earrings in my stretched ears wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys see you at yoga i''m pretending to be a tree soft music i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? my dream is to open my own yoga studio. hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super hippies yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. fake guru i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Patagonia made my mantra patagonia the color of yoga is plum. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma..