Yoga Truths Ipsum

Got my hood pierced i''m pretending to be a tree yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yoga is fake exercise. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..

I smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yoga is fake exercise. i do yoga so i am better than you. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Taking my yoga instructor class tattoo on the back of my neck patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil if you don''t stretch you will die i only drink organic tea super hippies dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth..