Yoga Truths Ipsum

Patagonia made my mantra fuck yoga self-righteous spiritual types if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. fake guru what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. yoga snob oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Lotus tattoos yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world..

Going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy see you at yoga i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. i do yoga so i am better than you. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. the color of yoga is plum. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. fake guru i am a yoga goddess. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.