Yoga Truths Ipsum

Dreadlocks wooden earrings in my stretched ears yoga is for people that want to have sex i smell like patouli oil if you don''t stretch you will die $80 seaweed pants soft music i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yoga is fake exercise. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. the color of yoga is plum. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? are yoga pants really pants? come on. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..