Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia made my mantra wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys if you don''t stretch you will die fuck yoga my dream is to open my own yoga studio. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. super hippies self-righteous spiritual types yoga is fake exercise. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.