Yoga Truths Ipsum

Tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia spirit got my hood pierced i smell like patouli oil yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners $80 seaweed pants i am reconnecting with my inner self patagonia i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch fuck yoga this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. super hippies yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river?.

Patagonia made my mantra $80 seaweed pants mantra schmantra super hippies yoga is fake exercise. yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper i am a yoga goddess. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. are yoga pants really pants? come on. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Lotus tattoos tattoo on the back of my neck being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm wooden earrings in my stretched ears wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys if you don''t stretch you will die i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week patagonia fuck yoga self-righteous spiritual types super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. my girl's pussy is always so wet and warm, she must have bikram vagina. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. are yoga pants really pants? come on..