Yoga Truths Ipsum

Dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm i smell like patouli oil wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys i''m pretending to be a tree if you don''t stretch you will die fuck yoga i only drink organic tea i am reconnecting with my inner self patagonia yoga is gay. mantra schmantra hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. yoga is the greatest fraud ever perpetuated against american women for the sake of vanity if you don't count the ones that killed or maimed them. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Lotus tattoos patagonia made my mantra see you at yoga soft music i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch i only do yoga so i can get away wearing my tank top and low cut stretch pants all the time. how else would i show off my over-sized ass-cheek/hip/thigh tattoo to attract my next husband? fuck yoga mantra schmantra hey i teach teach yoga on my back deck after the community dinner. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. yoga is fake exercise. i do yoga so i am better than you. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. yoga snob my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Going to be a yoga practitioner patagonia spirit see you at yoga fuck yoga yoga is gay. this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. self-righteous spiritual types yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. fake yoga: the act of using yoga for self-aggrandisement, to define personal style or to make money in the yoga business. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? are yoga pants really pants? come on. oh no, my tank top is so tight it shows off my pierced nipples. oh wait, i want people to know i have pierced nipples..