Yoga Truths Ipsum

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner lotus tattoos yoga is for people that want to have sex i only drink organic tea i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yes, while some men do yoga, the "exercise" is marketed to women as a way to stay skinny without getting sweaty. omg, did you see the latest athleta catalog??? patagonia's new yoga line is out!!! yoga people are the types who think it's so great that a san francisco yoga studio donated it's used yoga mats to haiti to help homeless earthquake victims. guerilla yoga: to participate in yoga outside a studio, home or private place. to do yoga in public settings, ie. a park, mall, school, boardwalk aka super lame. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." you describe the beast (yoga goddess) reasonably well from within her own "orbit." they are amusing and worth a few days or weeks in bed - at most. there are so many fine cultured women in this world - and very few of them practice, let alone teach, yoga! are you going to the yoga retreat next month? fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public..

Tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks being a yoga practitioner fools people into thinking i am calm patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil patagonia my dream is to open my own yoga studio. i do yoga so i am better than you. fake guru i like men to know that i do yoga, because knowing i can bend really well means i'm awesome in bed. oh...yawn... i will be glad when the yoga backlash hits. and i don't have to see anymore outdoor yoga pose profile pics. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. this one bitch yoga instructor kept yelling, "suck in your core! suck it in!" and i was like -- bitch, i can hear you but i'm pregnant..

Taking my yoga instructor class going to be a yoga practitioner tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little i am reconnecting with my inner self mantra schmantra i bought the most expensive yoga mat i could find and left the price tag on. yoga is fake exercise. i do yoga so i am better than you. the color of yoga is plum. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. fake guru after i started doing yoga, i changed the way i talk to a soft fake whisper my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. a yoga goddess? a "yogurt goddess" sounds more like a lonely, pretentious, scared little girl who separates herself from the world and other people so she doesn't get hurt. or just someone with autism. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. yoga snob are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. fuck yoga. real goddesses can walk their camel toes up a pole and defy gravity. now that takes core. are yoga pants really pants? come on. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. believe it or not, the same pair of yoga pants garnered me three very profitable marriages. how do you think i afford this house on the river? yoga pants are way too sheer to wear in public without a skirt or a long top. they advocate misogyny and statutory rape..