Yoga Truths Ipsum

See you at yoga i''m doing a vinegar and honey cleanse this week i prefer to dress up in fancy clothes and pay someone to watch me stretch yoga is gay. my dream is to open my own yoga studio. if you do yoga or are owned by a vampire, you must eventually get a tattoo on your neck. i do yoga so i am better than you. yoga floss: outfits and accessories that typically adorn trophy wives, cougars, and ex-wives who have fucked over their ex-husbands at the yoga studio. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. fake guru what does a dyslexic cow say? oooommmm. i am a yoga goddess. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. i've never met a yoga goddess who wasn't a first-class, ego-tripping narcissist largely out of touch with her own deeper nature; though that's often defensively disguised through all sorts of self-referential "discourse." indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga snob my yoga mat cost more than your yoga mat are you going to the yoga retreat next month? i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..

Tattoo on the back of my neck my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks i only started yoga because it is trendy patagonia made my mantra i smell like patouli oil yoga allows me to lead an alternative, unique lifestyle that is just like all the other yoga practitioners i am reconnecting with my inner self yoga is gay. mantra schmantra this is our next pose... fuck that, i'm going across the street for a drink. yoga is fake exercise. yunt: a yoga cunt. particularly the yoga studio receptionists. like all people who end up on yoga's door step as teachers and their helpers, they are lost, ill defined, failed at all other endeavors and angry. their response is yuntish behavior. frequently yunts date beanie boys. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. yogahead: a new age nutter, twit or bird who has a monthly membership at a local yoga studio and does yoga three or more times a week. they talk about their guru or their vacation at kripaulu center for yoga and health, omega institute, easlen or other spas catering to new age nutters in a breathless, oh-so-spiritual voice. yoga is great for my bi-curious side that surfaced after my third divorce. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. yoga is made out of lies about how you are changing the world by raising your leg up like a urinating dog. are yoga pants really pants? come on. fellow girls - yoga pants are not pants. please, for the love of all of us who don't want to see your junk in explicit detail at any given moment, wear something else. yoga pants are the wonder-bra for the ass but they ruin the mystery..

Lotus tattoos my lotus tattoo wraps around my hip and sticks out a little dreadlocks patagonia made my mantra wearing yoga tattoos attracts the boys see you at yoga soft music patagonia fuck yoga yoga is fake exercise. super skinny yoga chick bodies are not attractive to men. the color of yoga is plum. yoga "gear and apparel" is no longer just for the yoga studio. yogabond: a derogatory term to describe the new urban hipster who practices yoga, and can be seen wandering the city streets with a five buck latte in one hand, phone in the other, and yogamat slung over their shoulder. yiilf: acronym for "yoga instructor i'd like to fuck"; an endearing or confessional term used by yoga students in private reference to their hot and/or enchanting yoga class instructor. all female yoga students dream of someday being considered a yiilf by all of the women and men in their class. bikram vagina: term used to coin when a woman consistently has a hot and sweaty vagina, comparable to how it feels inside of a bikram yoga studio. close your eyes. if you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open. my husband had an affair with a yoga goddess. bad karma. most yoga goddesses desperately need to stop practicing yoga, work overseas in some humble non-yogic capacity -- maybe go back to school and then return stronger and more genuinely wise. indulgence is what the yoga goddess seeks more than anything else - from her man, and from the world. dear yoga goddess: if you ever find a guy willing to put up with your ponderous, boner-killing, fun-destroying attitude then i'll believe that chickens have teeth. i never knew being able to contort your body in unnatural ways gave you a free pass to pretentiousness, but i've encountered plenty of jerk face yoga teachers over the years. the yoga pant phenomenon worries me. a lot. it's like wearing pantyhose and nothing else in public. i can agree that yoga pants are comfortable, but that is no reason to wear them in public..